50 Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley
by Lavender May
Summary: 1 Stick Trevor the Toad down his pants! "How did you get here, Neville?" Fred asked. "I let the wind carry me!" said Neville in a dreamy voice. "Dude, you've been hanging around Luna too much." Neville frowned ashamedly. "I know."
1. Stick Trevor the Toad down his pants!

**Title: 50 Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley**

**Author: Lavender May, with help for this first chapter from Indigo March, my AWESOME sister**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: No! I do not own Harry Potter (I wish I did!)**

**Author's Note: This is my first ever story! Please be easy on me! Don't KILL ME! I'VE GOT A TAZER!**

**~*~*~**

**1) Stick Trevor the Toad down his PANTS!!!**

When Ron went down to the kitchen for breakfast, he found Fred and George at the table, cackling under their breath and hunched over a piece of parchment.

"What are you doing?" he demanded sleepily, yawning and breathing his bad breath all over them, scratching his belly and itching his buttocks, his _left_ buttock, to be specific.

_"Nuttin,"_ Fred and George said together slyly, exchanging glances and smirking. "Nuttin at all!"

"Yeah, okay, whatever," said Ron, still yawning and scratching his _right_ buttock this time. Ron took a seat at the table, immediately laying his head down and snoring.

"Ready, Gred?" asked Forge.

"Ready, Forge," said Gred.

Fred and George left the kitchen and headed up stairs to their room, passing by Percy who was scratching at his afro of red hair. "He's our next victim," Fred whispered to George under his breath. George snorted. "We shall start by stealing his anti bacterial underpants!"

Fred pushed open the door to their room and then hurriedly shut it once they were both safely inside, away from the prying eyes of their family.

"OK, here's the plan," said Fred. "We're going to sneak into Ron's room as he is still drooling on himself downstairs--"

"But we need Trevor first!" said George.

"I've got that covered," said Fred. "Neville's on his way over as we speak. He should be here in about 3.7 seconds!"

"Wow, that's convient," said George.

"1 ... 2 ... 3..."

_CRASH! BOOM! POW! KRAKATOA! STUPID SOUND EFFECTS!!!_

"Ow! That really hurt!" said Neville. "Onoz! I sat on Trevor! He bit my bum!"

"How can a frog bite your bum, Neville?"

"I don't even know, Fred!"

"How'd you even get here, Neville?" Fred asked.

"I let the wind carry me," said Neville.

"Oh, wow," said Fred. "Dude, you've been hanging around Luna too much.

Neville frowned ashamedly. "I know."

"Didn't you fall?" said George. "Like, a couple times?"

"Nooooo...." said Neville. "I fell a hundred times! I counted, too!"

"Okay...." said the twins.

"Anywho!" said Fred. "WHERE'S TREVOR?!"

"I don't even know. I was holding him out the window, so he could get some fresh air (this was after he bit my bum, just now) and the next thing I knew...he had peed and then jumped! And I didn't even notice because I was too grossed out!"

"Neville! You do realize our whole plan is ruined now, don't you?" said George.

"Um...what plan? Why do you need Trevor?"

"We were gonna put him down Ron's pants!"

"And let him bite Ron's bum? Ewww!"

"We were kinda hoping he'd bite something else," Fred muttered.

"Double ewww!" said Neville, flinching in disgust.

"Find Trevor, Neville. Or we'll have to kill you."

"What?!" Neville cried. "I thought we were buddies!"

"No one...is my buddy...except for Fred," George said gravely. "And Angelina ... because she's pretty. And Alicia ... except she's not as pretty ... as Angelina. Anywho!"

"Find Trevor, Neville. Or we'll have to kill you," said Fred.

"Yeah, we've established that," Neville muttered.

"And do you know how we will kill you, Neville?" asked George. Neville shook his head, looking frightened. "We will tickle you, until you pee yourself. And then you will die of shame."

"I'll do what you say! I'll find Trevor!" said Neville, tears coursing down his plump cheeks. "Don't tickle me! I don't wanna pee myself! I've already done that today! Twelve times! As the wind carried me! And then it flew _up_! And landed on my cheeks!"

"That's ... disgusting," said Fred.

"Hey! Look! It's Trevor!" said Neville, pointing. "He pooped on George's foot! Aw, bless him. I guess he did jump, but not out the window."

"Ewwww!" said George. "These are my good shoes! The one's Auntie Muriel bought me! You're gonna die now, Neville!"

"What?! Why?!"

"Because your dang frog pooped on me!"

As Neville cried for his mother, Fred scooped up the frog, as George ripped off his shoe and began to feverishly polish it. "Dang frog..." he muttered. "Now I have to steal money from Ron to get them polished professionally! Grrrrr."

"I'll just go put this frog down Ron's pants, shall I?" said Fred, who was being completely ignored by both boys: Neville was rocking back and forth, while picking his nose _and_ sucking on his thumb and George was spit-shining his poop covered foot.

"OK, then," said Fred, exiting the room and heading towards the kitchen once again.

Ron was still snoring peacefully, probably dreaming about peanut butter and waffles. Oddly, he really liked that.

"Heh heh," said Fred, creeping forward with Trevor the frog croaking quietly in his hand.

After Fred put Trevor carefully in Ron's trousers and hurrying upstairs, Ron began to chuckle quietly. "Hermione, stop!" he muttered, a silly grin spreading across his face as Trevor bit him on the bum. "Stop pinching my bum, Hermione! Ewww...you're really slimy! What did you do? Wash your hands with jelly? Ewww...they're cold! And it feels as if water is trickling down my backside!"

Ron suddenly jerked awake. "Where are you, Hermione?"

_Croak ... croak ... croak ..._

"Ewww, why are my pants squishy?!" he said, squirming in his chair. "Squish ... squish!" as he jumped up and down. "Did I poop in my pants? How embarrassing! Oh, well, it's not the first time!"

_Croak ... croak ... croak ..._

"As long as Fred and George don't know, I won't be humiliated in public! Hermione, will you please stop! That sound if very annoying! You sound so toad-like! Cut it out!"

Hermione walked into the kitchen, looking as if she had just woken up. She crinkled her nose, looking as if she smelt something horrendous.

"_Excuse_ me, Ronald? What did you say about me?"

"I said to stop making that noise! You sound toad-like!"

"Well, excuse me!"

"You're excused."

"Erm ... Ron? Do you hear a frog?"

"Yes, Hermione! That would be _you_! I thought we had settled this!"

"That's not me, buttwipe. There's a toad in your trousers, Ronald, you unicorn terd!"

"No there isn't! I've just pooped in my pants!"

"That's ... disgusting, Ronald."

"Huh?"

"Quackers don't like quacking, Ronald."

"Come again?"

"Never you mind."

"What the heck?"

"I don't even know! But there's a toad in your trousers."

"No there's not! I pooped!"

"That's ... still disgusting, Ronald."

"Look, I'll prove that there's no frog in my pants!" And with Hermione watching, he took of his pants.

Just as Trevor the toad hopped for freedom, Harry entered the kitchen.

"MERLIN'S CHEST HAIR, RON! PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!" yelled Harry. "Hermione, close your eyes! It burns!"

Hermioned was stunned, to say the least.

Ronald discovered that he had not pooped.

He really was a unicorn terd.

Except there were no unicorn terds in his pants.

It had been Trevor the whole time.

**~*~*~**

**REVIEW! IT MAKES ME HAPPY!**

**Cause this is my first story and I'd like to know how I did! Was it too gross? Stupid? Funny? Amazing? Awesome? Incredible? Did it scar you? How does it make you feel? FAVORITE THIS STORY!**

**(I have tazer)**


	2. Leave a trail of Gummy Worms

**Title: 50 Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley**

**Author: Lavender May**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: Nope!**

**Author's Note: Enjoy (and SUCK IT, Bryson!)**

**~*~*~**

**2) Leave a trail of Gummy Worms to the Whomping Willow**

Fred and George were quietly cackling as Fred said, "Haha, Ron will definitely fall for this as the greedy child he is!"

"Yeah, no kidding!" agreed George as he laid down gummy worms leading from the castle to the Whomping Willow.

"Quick, hide! Ron's coming!" exclaimed Fred as the twins ran behind a tree. Sure enough, Ron was coming and he was picking up the gummy worms and following the trail, as he hadn't even noticed where they were leading.

"What a dweeb! He has to brush them off and blow on them like Pansy Parkinson would!" announced George.

"Yeah, he acts like a girl!. Oh look! He's almost to the Whomping Willow!" added Fred.

CrAsH! BaNg! BoOm! SwIsH! SwAsH! SwOsH!

The twins watched in delight as Ron's pale skin got snowy white.

"AHHHHH!!!" Ron screeched.

"BAHAHAHAHA!! laughed the twins together as Ron was being lifted up and twirled in the air faster than ever! Good thing Fred and George were prepared: they brought an umberella to guard themselves from Ronald's vomit.

"You did an exceedingly good job, Mr. Weasley," said George.

"Thank you, Mr. Weasley!" said Fred.

"You're welcome, dear lad! Except...what shall we do about Ms. Weasley over there being thrown around like a rag doll?" questioned George.

"Awww.... the Whomping Willow will eventually let go, then Ms. Weasley will fall flat on her face! Then at that point he will go home crying to mum!" answered Fred.

"Indeed," said George.

**~*~*~**

**Just like Indy and I did for our story once before...the first person to review this chapter gets a shout out from Fred and George! Who doesn't want the twins to say their name? I know I would like them to say mine! Soooo.... Press the button!!!**


	3. Live Worms in his spaghetti

**Title: 50 Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley**

**Author: Lavender May**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: Only in my nightmares!**

**Author's Note: Hi.**

**~*~*~**

**3) Put Live Worms in His Noodles**

"Fred and George, what are you doing with that big bucket?" asked Ron.

"We're off to build some _sandcastles_," Fred replied, while winking slyly at George.

"Whatever. I'm going to eat breakfast," said Ron stupidly.

"It's one in the afternoon, buttwipe!" exclaimed Fred.

"It's not one, Fred, it's one-thirty!" said George sarcastically.

"See you later Ronnie-Pooh!" called the twins at the same time. "We're headed for the pond!"

"Let's start digging, Fred! Find fat, juicy, pink ones!" said George.

"Will do, my brother! Ron's sooo going to ki--ooops! I mean _try _to kill us, after we put Trevor in his pants and led a trail of gummy worms for him leading to the Whomping Willow!" exclaimed Fred.

"Yes, but it was his own stupid, greedy self for falling for it! added George.

"True dat!" agreed Fred. "Now get back to finding worms!"

"Fred, George, dinner's ready!" called Mrs. Weasley.

"Has it really been five hours?" asked Fred.

"Yeah, now let's go in, sneak the worms into Ron's spaghetti, then start nonchalantly eating ours!" replied George.

"Okay! Let's go, brother of mine!" said Fred. As Ron sat down he took a **gigantic** bite and grossly with his mouth full, he said,"Yum, I'm starving!"

"Give it about three seconds and he'll notice the worms," said George.

"1...2...3..." the twins said together.

"Mum, what's this squishy liquid gushing into my mouth?" asked Ron.

"What squishy liquid, dear? I didn't put any squishy liquid in your spaghetti." replied Mrs. Weasley.

Ron suddenly screamed...like the preppiest girl known to man, he said..."MY SPAGHETTI IS MOVING!!!! NOODLES DON'T MOVE, MUM! BUT THEY ARE MOVING!" He suddenly started crying as he saw his noodles moving. Fred and George were laying on the ground, they had tears of joy! Ginny picked up a moving _noodle_ and announced, "It's a worm!"

"AHHHHHH! THERE WAS A WORM IN MY MOUTH!!! A WORM IN MY MOUTH!!!! A WORM!!!" screamed Ronald as he was scraping his tounge with his fingernails. The twins were still laughing as hard as ever, rolling on the ground. Ginny was still holding the worm while looking at Ron thinking, "What a girl!" Everyone but Ron was laughing!

**~*~*~**

**Please review! The first person to reveiw for chapter two was Annski-x! I'll do the same with this chapter, so try and be the first to review! I want to say thanks to my big sister Indigo March for helping me with some ideas for my stories! BUT I WROTE THIS ONE ALL BY MYSELF!!! YAY!**


	4. Dip real frogs in chocolate

**Title: 50 Ways to Annoy Ronald Weasley**

**Author: Lavender May**

**Rating: K+**

**Disclaimer: Only in my nightmares!**

**Author's Note****: If you have read my sister Indigo March's stories (check her out) then you know she's had this idea, but I gave her the idea so she told me to use it for my story! I hope you guys like it, love it, hate it...whatever! Just enjoy it!**

**4)dip real frogs in chocolate for him to eat**

Ron ran downstairs to the kitchen screaming for joy.

"Mum! Dad! Look! A butterfly! Besides that, someone sent _me_ chocolate frogs!" He said with a giddy expression on his face.

"Who was it from dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"If I knew I would have told you, there's not a name mum." Ron said witha slightly sad face. Ron ran upstairs to tell Fred and Geoge, Percy, and also Ginny.

"Hmmm... said the twins together as if they were about to pull _another_ prank on Ron.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" asked Fred

"If it involves koalas and hula-hoops then yes, I think we are!" replied George with a crooked smile.

"No George, that is definitely not what I'm thinking, but we should do that sometime! Anyway I'm thinking that we could get _real _frogs, dip them in chocolate and give them to Ron! If we're lucky, he'll yack them up all over himself and maybe even have a few tadpoles in his stomache because the frogs will most likely hatch some little ones! :D announced Fred.

Oh...well then, that is one of the greatest ideas I have EVER heard! said George.

"Why thank you good sir!" added Fred.

"You are very welcome!" exclaimed George.

"Let's go to the pond, get frogs, then dip them in chocolate to give to the greedy red headed boy!" said Fred.

Once Fred and George got to the pond they had a five gallon bucket and very quickly that was filled right up!

"Ron will never see this coming. This is the best hoax ever! It'll just be another box from...nobody!" said George with a twinkle in his eye! The twins must have grabbed atleast 50 frogs, they took them back to the burrow and recited a spell to make a full cauldron of chocolate fudge. After they finished dipping the frogs they recited another spell to make sure everything was perfect. They then took Ron's empty box of chocolate frogs and placed each frog in up until the point where the box was full. About an hourr later when the twins finished everything they placed the box in Ron's room on his bed where he couldn't miis it! Then...they waited. And waited. And waited some more until finally Won-Won came running down the stairs!

"MUM! DAD! FRED! GEORGE! PERCY! GINNY! **I** got **more** chocolae frogs!" he bragged.

"Ugh." Percy moaned.

"They're only giving you those to make you fat, you know." Ginny told him as he shoved three more frogs in his mouth completely ignoring her.

"YAY! YIPPIE! WOOHOO! MERLINS BEARD! Thank you Ronald, you have shown us joy!" Said the Twins.

"Why? I'm kinda telling you I'm better than you cause nobody has sent you...anything." Ron said this as he had no clue what was going on.

Ginny almost immidiately ran over to Fred nd George to ask what was going on, so they whispered it in her ear and all of the sudden, Ginny started laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

"I, as the only mature one here, I do not want to know what is going on. I don't want to be the one in the middle of this!" Percy said as him and his dorky self were on their walking towards the stairs just as soon as Ronnie-Pooh puked up everything. All over Percy and his head boy badge.

"RONALD WEASLEY! I WILL KEEL YOU! YOU RUINED MY HEAD BOY BADGE! AFTER I CLEAN UP JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! YOU'LL BE WISHING OU WERE NEVER BORN!" Percy shouted until he lost his voice. That's when we had to read his lips, then we all gave up and Ron kept on throwing up second after second.

"Percy! I am ashamed of you! Just wait until Professor Dumbledore finds out about this little...shananagan! He will be very disapointed." Exclaimed Fred.

"NO NO NO NO NOOOOOO! Please dont tell Professor Dumbledore, please Fred! I'll do anything! He'll take my badge!" Percy cried.

"Anything...hmmm, I wwant you to do anything I say for a whole year!"

"A year? Oh, okay, as long as you don't tell him, okay Fred." Percy agreed to the deal and Fred and George were backing aaway slowly as Ron stared at them asked what was going on. So the twins told them and they then ran as Ron also ran...to the bathroom!

You know the drill!

The first person to subscribe for chapter three was Grey Eyed!

And I'm very sorry it's taken so long for me to upload but I've just been so busy! So here you are! ;)


End file.
